I returned from Sabbatical a few days ago, following a lovely break away with Kathryn at the end of three months of time with the boys and space to stop, rest, delight and contemplate life and God. I might write more on that. But Sunday was my first ‘preach’ since December last year, and I sensed I should share where I’m at before launching into any sort of routine or series of sermons. Following are my lightly-edited notes from Sunday morning, or you can hear/see the way it came out using this YouTube link – I think the Spirit took over in a few spots!
All of us have a particular orientation to time – of the nine personality types identified by the Enneagram, a third will tend to focus on the past, a third will be able to dwell most easily in the present, and another three will mainly be keeping their eyes on the future. For me, it’s the past. I love looking at photos of things we’ve done or seen, telling stories of experiences, looking back to try to make sense of the world.
I wonder about you? Do you find yourself mainly living in the past, the present or the future?
As I was thinking and praying about what to say today, the first time I’ve preached since Christmas Day, I realised my mind has been doing an awful lot of churning during these ten months, skipping between past, present and future, when I’m thinking and chatting, when I’m being absent-minded, even when I’m dreaming. I have been living in three tenses. Past, Present, Future.
Past
We’ve done a lot of clearing of boxes recently, papers and trinkets gathered over fifty years. I’ve been remembering student days, travelling experiences and the first years of marriage – a lot of fun, formation and fruitfulness. But also loss – of grandparents, of leaving my home church family to go on circuit, of the dream that Methodism would be revived in our youth. Turning 50 and thinking about all that’s happened in the decade since turning 40 has been challenging, where we had to make the best of every situation while the fear that Timothy might die was always lurking in the background. And then becoming those people who were living everyone else’s worst nightmare, burying our son.
Present
In the middle of all the grief and stress this year, God has been kind. In my Christmas day sermon I preached to myself as much as to anyone in the building: ‘Jesus is here’. I’ve had to take note in moments of anxiety and numbness that His kindness and presence has permeated through other people’s acts of service, hugs, prayers. I’ve decided to worship as wholeheartedly as I can – which is often stunted with pain – and seize the moment to go for prayer ministry where settings allow. I’ve been reminded of the beauty of creation – walking on the beach at White Park Bay, staring in awe at the scale of Austrian mountains and valleys, pausing for still sunsets at Castlewellan Lake, sneaking a glimpse of the Autumn sunlight on the beech trees in our garden, stopping to listen to birdsong in the Algarve. Even on the absolute awful days, the valley of the shadow of death days, I know that God is with me. His rod and staff – his presence and protection – they comfort me.
Future
I’m not the same person as a year ago. There’s a gap in my life that I’m still trying to understand and am not sure will ever be filled. I’m not the same minister as a year ago. I query song lyrics and theologies that in some way suggest God will always do what I want or even need. The future feels uncertain. I don’t know where we’ll be or what it holds. I trust that God is good but, like CS Lewis’ Aslan, I’m not convinced that he’s safe – there is danger and challenge in following Jesus. But when I sing to him and stretch out my hands to him, he ministers his peace to me. God is calling me onwards; my purpose is still to make more worshippers of Jesus; my household is called to share life together as family on mission; our mission as a Methodist people is to be living wholeheartedly as followers of Jesus, for the transformation of the world.
A Bible Passage Spanning a Decade
Within days of Timothy’s first hospital admission back in November 2016, I stumbled our reading for today from Colossians 1. It seemed relevant to look at it again nearly ten years later, and I discovered there is an element of past, present and future in verses 9-14, and I find them encouraging:
Past
v13-14 shows what God has already done for us in the past – ‘he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins’ – nomatter how dark things might appear around us in our lives and country and world, we are, right now, also standing in the Kingdom of light, in Jesus’ Kingdom, through whom our sins have been forgiven. And we have not been alone. v9 shows that Paul and his friends had heard about the church, and had been praying for them continually. There is always someone praying for you. Someone who has heard of you, seen your challenges and your steadfastness and has prayed for you. Maybe you are one of the pray-ers. Know that your prayer ministry has been effective in the past and is needed all the more now.
Present
The second half of v9 shows what Paul’s crew are actively praying for the church: continually asking God to ‘fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives.’ We are encouraged to ‘live in the moment’, in the present, and right here, right now, we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit. To know God’s will for the next step, to possess wisdom and understanding and so much more, we need to be filled with God’s Spirit, now.
Future
What is the prayed-for future of Colossians 1? It’s ‘that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way’:
- ‘Bearing fruit in every good work’ – fruit of the Spirit, and reaping a harvest of souls
- ‘Growing in the knowledge of God’ – not simply knowledge about God, but knowing him more deeply
- ‘Being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you might have great endurance and patience’ – the power to persevere, to keep standing despite all the knockbacks that the world will send
- ‘Giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.’ – a people who overflow with joy not because life is easy but because we are co-heirs with Jesus in God’s Kingdom.
An Invitation
It’s over 8 years since we moved to Dromore, who knows how much longer we’ll be allowed to stay with you (and we want to stay with you), but today this feels like a new beginning – a restart – and I want to invite you all to give your past, your present, your future, not to me nor to Dromore Methodist Church, but to Jesus, afresh, as Lord and Saviour, the one who sends us out onto the mission field of Dromore, not in our own strength but in the power of the Holy Spirit.
Hear Colossians 1:9-14 in Eugene Peterson’s Message voice now: “Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven’t stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you’ll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us. God rescued us from dead-end alleys and dark dungeons. He’s set us up in the kingdom of the Son he loves so much, the Son who got us out of the pit we were in, got rid of the sins we were doomed to keep repeating.”
Even as you read this bullet-pointed version of a sermon, it’s possible that God is at work. I invite you to ask the Holy Spirit to minister to you now, whether that’s sealing something in your soul that God wants you to remember, or placing someone on your heart that needs God’s help or salvation, or doing some rewiring in your mind, or transforming your circumstances in some way. He knows what you need, and he loves you.
God loves us, and longs for us to place our past, our present, our future into his loving hands. Jesus is Lord. Come, Holy Spirit.